Spring Body Reset: The “Let’s Not Call It a Cleanse” Cleanse

Fruit and vegetable cleanse

All right, I know the Interwebs are always ablaze with a new “super duper miracle cleanse” or an all-juice diet that usually consists of starving yourself whilst cleansing out the toxins that are keeping you from feeling your best. Honey, I have done it AWL. I mean, truly. The Master Cleanse nearly killed me. I tried an apple cider vinegar cleanse, and that lowered my blood pressure so much that I fainted and hit my head on a coffee table giving myself a nice shiner and trip to the E.R. Gwyneth likes to tell us at goop that a full-time working, gym-going, kid-having, on-the-go female can drink herbal teas and a spoonful of mushed lentils to cleanse ourselves, thus making us feel radiant. This might be true, but I also may freak out and order the entire Fresco menu at Taco Bell by day two from sheer hunger/anger/confusion. I can’t be blamed. It’s not my fault that I like to chew things. I am not putting down ANYONE who can do this…but I can’t.

And I got a solution for ya!